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Submitted on
June 13, 2004
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Jennifer

Away from the party and the sights
Show me yours I'll show you mine

Dirty caricatures form a flirtatious grind
Abduce a young transient in the night

sent into mangled sleep
cannot swat all the things that pester

these tokens I keep
will this form and capture this letter
farewelled afterglow

her name was
I listened to a man describe how he raped a girl at a party once. Drunkenly he stirred up a crowd around him, and boasted.

The police were not called, but he was not amused to find that you cannot drive with 3 flat tires.

I had no part in the tires.

I am not a violent person, even towards inanimate things.

Shine On . . .
:iconoedalis:
oedalis Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2004  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i'm not one to ask about poetry but i particularly liked this one and the breaks don't bother me.
i also have an aluminum ear however.
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:iconsperpy:
Sperpy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2004  Hobbyist
this seems all over the place, your interjections break up any flow that you had and push me away from reading this.
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:iconrakista:
Rakista Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2004   Digital Artist
I'm going to have to reconsider how to bring the pauses across, thanks.

I suppose I should of reworked it before just blithely publishing it on the intarweb.
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